happy divorce

Our Happy Divorce – Navigating Separations

When two people decide to take the next step and tie the knot, they anticipate a lifetime of happiness together. Unfortunately, sometimes life together just isn’t in the cards. We don’t need to tell you that happily ever after together isn’t always the outcome, and it’s unfortunate but in some cases marriage ends in divorce. Ideally, separations and divorces would never happen, but sometimes that’s just the way things play out. While anyone who’s had to, or is currently trying to navigate the waters of separation or divorce can attest that it’s never easy, some divorce situations turn out better than others. The relationship can be further complicated when children are involved. We’ve all heard about the dark side of marriage – one that results in ugly, complicated or long drawn out battles. But wouldn’t it be nice if anyone who was going through a separation could utter the words “This is our happy divorce!”? 

While those words may seem like a far off dream, amicable divorce isn’t that unreal of a goal. Some spouses even stay legally married for quite some time to help one another with loans, insurance and taxes. Remember, if you’re finalizing a divorce and need to go through the steps to change your name back or remove your spouse from certain accounts, you may be required to provide a certified copy of your divorce records. No matter the reason for divorce, we’ve put together a few ideas that may help keep things civil and can help you strive to maintain healthy goals during, and after you’ve decided to part ways.

amicable divorce
An amicable divorce can certainly be helpful when it comes to splitting assets and working on custody agreements. Being civil can make the process a whole lot easier.

Happy Divorce – The Path to an Amicable Separation

While there are certainly darn good reasons to get a divorce, and many of those reasons aren’t happy ones, there are plenty of individuals who just begin to grow apart. Perhaps lifestyle changes are something one spouse can’t live with, or maybe major career changes, or relocation desires might be on the table. If you’re at a point in your marriage where you think it’s time to move on, consider these things in your efforts to remain cordial and pleasant with one another.

  • Don’t vent to the wrong people – Mutual friends aren’t the ones to let off a little steam to. Remember, if they’re mutual friends, they care about you both. While asking for advice or using them as a sounding board can be a great way to gain some perspective, stay away from revealing your anger to them. It puts them in a bad spot and can further exacerbate bad feelings. If kids are in the picture, badmouthing their other parent is a definite no-no.
  • Keep long term goals in mind – Remember the reasons you’ve made the tough decision to divorce your partner. If you don’t see eye to eye on serious decisions, and your goals no longer play out in tandem, remember that it’s not always your spouse’s fault. People change and that’s ok.
  • Remember the good times! – If a happy divorce is truly your end goal, just keep remembering all the fun times and great memories you created with your soon to be ex. You married them for a reason! 
  • Don’t reminisce on the negative – If an amicable separation is in the cards, you’ll need to let go of all those things that bugged you during your marriage. It doesn’t mean you have to tolerate all those nuances that drove you crazy, after all, you’re on your way out of sharing that space. But bringing it up or referencing “this is why…” won’t do anyone any good.
happily divorced
Being happily divorced isn’t a far off dream! There are tons of reasons why spouses may decide to separate. No matter your reason, if you think a happy divorce is possible it can be successful!
  • Share your new experiences – Maintaining a friendship isn’t a want or a necessity in any divorce. You don’t have to justify your reasoning for either. Plenty of divorcees however still maintain life-long friendships with their former spouse. If that’s your plan, it’s ok to keep them in the loop on fun things you’re doing.
  • Be mindful of hurt feelings – It can’t always be avoided, and no matter how amicable your divorce is, the reasons for splitting generally have something to do with hurt feelings. But you can be kind and considerate, and take into account each other’s feelings in situations to ensure the damage and emotional strain is kept to a minimum. 
  • Don’t put your kids in the middle – If you have children, be sure to keep your best attitude in front of them. They pick up a lot and they shouldn’t be used as leverage during separation. Figuring out reasonable custody agreements and maintaining a relatively normal routine is imperative to helping them get through this, just like you.

No divorce is a walk in the park – no matter how you pick up the pieces, it’s a hard journey. But keeping things civil between you can ease the pain and help you move forward on your best foot. It can also make things like settling assets and custody agreements much easier. Even the healthiest and easiest divorces may need to seek legal help to settle. Regardless of your reasons, with or without your former spouse in your life, we wish you the best of luck in your new journey forward!

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